"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts"-Arnold Bennett

even though im about to finish my second year of college, i realized that i really dont like DRASTIC change. i like it when things stay the same. i dont like it when i feel like i am the same person every since i could remember and everybody else around me is changing...whether it be the people i dont really know to like my closes friends. i can totally tell when you would see pictures or just hear stories about them. i wish things could just be the same.

going to college and just moving away was definitely a BIG change and i really didnt like it. i was especially leaving my family behind. and my close group of friends were splitting up going to different colleges. i thought that going to college was going to be similar to when i was going into high school, but boy was i wrong. those 2 changes are totally different. i especially felt out of my comfort zone when going to college. i wasnt going to be with the friends that i knew all my life. to this day...i still dont like it. i think this is why because i felt like when everybody was going off to college, they all knew at least 1 person who was going to the same school as them. and i was like the only person not going to school with someone that i already knew. even now, i still kinda feel that way because i feel like i dont even have any close friends at school with me that i can go to just like my friends when we were all back at home. sometimes i just dream that all my close friends and i would all go to school together...even though thats not a very good idea because we could be clique-ish...this is why i feel like im the one ALWAYS trying to keep in contact with my other friends. sometimes i never know if they even want to keep in contact with me...

the next small change is all my "little" friends are growing up and moving on with their life. they are seniors and moving onto college. the 2 that im really close with, i got to really know them when they were just freshmen in high school and i was a junior, and now they are seniors. its really scary that time flies by so quickly. to robert and liane...i know you guys are moving on in life, but cherish the moments we had with each other and you know i'll always be here for you guys, like your "older sister".

i feel like this is a pretty big change that i noticed. its the relationship between my brother and i. i feel like we were never really that close, but still close enough where we would talk or anything. and when i first went off to college, i think our relationship grew a little stronger, especially when i can home for breaks or whatever. but all of a sudden when he gets a girlfriend (he is still young) it all changes. now when i come home for breaks or whatever, he's the one not home and i am. and when hes home then im not. i felt like this was a big change because he got a girlfriend and he will always be my little brother. but now i dont feel that anymore. its to the point where we cant even talk to each other about that subject. and when our family talks about it when we are all there, it just gets a little awkward.
i just dont like change, even though i know i gotta deal with it in life.